As Bill O’Reilly puts together the 1st Annual Uncle Tom’s Coon Awards, Colin Powell forms an uprising at Jefferson Davis square to break the bondage at the plantation.
Tyler Perry is dressed as Madea as he listens to Colin Powell. That’s when he runs over to Bill O’Reilly and says, “Mr O’Reilly I have news for you!” O’Reilly looked at Tyler with a serious face asking, “Where Is this betrayal taking place… Boy?” Tyler immediately began acting like a child throwing a temper tantrum…rubbing his eyes and stomping his left leg saying, “Powell Is starting trouble at Jefferson Davis square Mr O’Reilly!” O’Reilly pointed the index finger of his right hand at Tyler’s face and said, “Boy go put on some pants and a decent shirt and don’t you ever talk to me wearing a dress again!” Tyler started to cry and was about to speak when O’Reilly said, “Shut up and don’t answer me you lady man…Yes you better do as I say lady man…Go tell Donald Rumsfeld it’s Tea Party time…Get the flags and the guns. Why are you still standing here? Get out of my face… Pinhead!” Tyler Perry ran off dressed in drag to tell Donald Rumsfeld the news…
Not knowing that Harold Ford had already told Donald Rumsfeld about the uprising, Tyler heads towards Donald Rumsfeld who was seated on a chair on the cabin’s front porch. Tyler is screaming “Mr. Rumsfeld…Mr. Rumsfeld they’re trying to escape…They’re starting trouble!” Rumsfeld got up from his seat to walk towards a running and screaming Tyler Perry.
Suddenly, out of no where…Harold Ford tackled Tyler like a football player and pinned him to the ground, “You don’t speak to men like Donald Rumsfeld in a dress…It’s because of guys like you I look bad!” And he punched Tyler in his face knocking him out him out.
That’s when Donald Rumsfeld said, “Harold sometimes I mistake you for one of us…Now go fetch me my AK-47 and escort me to my look out tower.” Before Harold ran off to fetch Rumsfeld’s riffle he asked,“When are we going to handle Powell and the rest of his followers?” Donald said, “Do as you’re told and tomorrow I’ll get those black bastards!”
As O’Reilly was telling Pat Buchanan the news of the uprising he noticed T Pain had turned himself into a human slingshot and was standing between two coconut tress while using his jewelry (from Jacob the jeweler) as a rubber band to catapult himself airborne. O’Reilly burst out in laughter as he saw T Pain shoot himself into the air screaming down at Pat Buchanan while looking through a pair of binoculars, “Boss…boss…a car is coming…Somebody is coming!” Buchanan looked up at a flying T Pain and spoke through a blow horn, “Well get down here you human cannonball and fetch me my cellphone so I can tell the Speaker Of The House!”
John Boehner was walking with armed guards to greet his new guest when took his flask out of his suit jacket to have a sip. Suddenly, his cellphone rang, “Hello?” It was Donald Rumsfeld saying, “It’s me John… I’m warning you not to let a rebellious darkie on this plantation or I’ll shoot him!” John replied, “I already know who it is Donald… It’s Steve Stoute he’s a safe Negro did you not hear him tell the Grammys about how horrible their operation is? This Stoute fella wants to make Justin Bieber and Eminem voted to be the best at their craft… I don’t know about you Rumsfeld but I want my grandchildren to know that us whites are better than them darkies in any and everything.”
Rumsfeld growled as he replied, “I understand we did the same to Rock & Roll…Isn’t Elvis the king?” John nodded his head, “You understand!”
As John hung up his cellphone, a limousine pulled up inches from his feet before coming to a complete stop. Out comes the chauffeur, Morgan Freeman, but before he opened the door for Steve Stoute…Morgan walked up to John to shake his hand and said, “I gave Tracy Morgan the night off…I wanted you guys to know that I’m thankful for everything and I also wanted you to remember that I’m the original Negro that drove Miss Daisy!”
John started to cry as Steve Stoute approached, and before Steve could speak John handed him a plate containing pork rectum with pickled pigs feet and a slice of cornbread with a Ginger Beer Snapple to wash it down…
HAAAAAAAAAA THAT BOUT SUM IT UP
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